Lost in thought in the city

This weekend I went for a walk to meet some friends.

I walked down into a part of the city that I don't go into very often. It's on the side of the city where I first lived when I moved here. It always makes me think of my ex because I lived with him when I first moved here for a brief interlude before things fell apart.

And all of a sudden, I found myself feeling tight in the chest, and short of breath. For a fleeting moment I was once again struck with the hurt that the loss of this person I love had caused. It's funny how the past sometimes creeps up on you, even when it's been over a year.

Maybe it's just hard to think that you once had something so wonderful, and you need to mourn.

Later that very same day, I decided to keep walking around the city. It gave me a chance to think about the person I was when came here. I was suddenly struck with another sense of loss.

You see, I'm not the person I was when I came here, in fact, I've changed quite a bit. I've grown up a lot, I've learned a lot, and I've changed in a very good way. It's been a blessing. But I sat down in the park that day, and I started to cry. I cried for the person I once was, and for the hurt that that person had and for the bad decisions made. I sat and I cried.

I was alone to mourn the loss.

And then the new person I am stopped crying, got up, and walked on home.

There I found love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. And I knew I was home.